Thursday 22 April 2010

Hey Ubisoft, why you hittin' yourself?

The following is a letter from myself to Ubisoft.

... If I had to represent Ubisoft in one picture right now, that would be it.

Let's cut to the chase, I like your games. In fact, I really like your games. I own both the original Splinter Cell (PS2) and the original Assassin's Creed (PC) which I rate as one of my all time favorite games. So, the question becomes... Why do you want me to buy the sequels?

Do you hate yourselves? Do you have a grudge against profit? Are you feeling fat and inadequate or something? No? Then why are you hitting yourself?

I know what you're thinking. "But you CAN buy it!". No I can't Ubisoft... No I can't. Because of you I can't buy and enjoy your games.

I'm, off course, talking about the draconian and obnoxious piece of malaware you called your own piece of DRM scam scheme scam.

You say I could still buy it with that, I obviously have internet, but I'll ask you if you'd like to buy a really good ice cream if you also had to have your knee caps busted by my baseball bat.

You see, when I play games online the "being forced to stay online" part of the deal isn't a bonus, or even a null factor, in fact it's a negative factor. The issue is, when I'm playing online with other people I have to, you know, connect to other people, so it's physically impossible to NOT be online, along with all the restrictions and limitations that implies. It's going to take a lot a really good argument and a set of balls made of granite to convince me I have to be online to play single player games, considering I've been playing those for twenty-odd years... There's also the minor detail of "what happens to our game once you decide to shutdown your server?". And don't tell me it won't happen, because we both know you'd be lying... In fact we both know it would be extremely beneficial if you were to "drop support" (I love euphemisms too Ubisoft) for older, no longer profitable, games... Maybe forcing stimulating people into buying the latest chapter in whichever franchise so they can keep playing. Yeah...

I had money set aside for ACII... Passed. Now I was REALLY interested in Splinter Cell: Conviction... Sadly, I'm going to pass on that too. Not because I have no interest in either games, but because you, Ubisoft, made it so I'd have to be a masochist to buy it.

What happened to us Ubisoft? We used to be in a good relationship. I'd send you my money, you'd send me your entertainment. But this got lost somewhere along the road. You became distrustful Ubisoft, and you pushed me away. I was confused, wondering what I did wrong... All I ever wanted was what we had. But our relationship, once characterized by fun and tranquility became all about mistrust and abuse... I had to go, for both of us.

If you ever come out of it, I still have feelings for you. We had good times before Ubisoft. Remember those? Before you started abusing unhealthy DRMs. Maybe we can have good times again. But you gotta get clean Ubisoft. I can't have you like this. I'm sorry.

I'm sure there's more of us out there too... We don't want to hurt you Ubisoft, we're just doing this for your own good. Drop that bad habit you picked up somewhere you probably shouldn't have been, and we might return.

PS: I'm seeing your "friends" Valve and DICE, and so is my money... They seem to understand my customer needs.

- A grieving (ex)customer.